Posted by: Havohej : Category: ¶ A new year is upon us, and like many others in the world from which I hail, I wasn’t sure where I’d be at its onset. After all, my past is somewhat checkered. But the year will begin with me continuing to enjoy time with my family. Perhaps we haven’t got all the money we’d like, all the toys we’d like, the kind of home we’d like… hell, we’re pretty much broke and things just keep happening to make it worse. For instance, the fuel pump on the car seems to be shot now and the house has sprung a new leak that’ll need to be repaired. But, such is life. “Que sera, sera.”
¶ The important thing is, we’re not destitute.
¶ There is truly nothing more important than knowing you have a place in the world. A place isn’t where you get out of the rain. It’s not where you lay your head at night. It’s where you belong - where there are people who look forward to seeing you and who will miss you if you’re gone. Even the most anti-social of us cannot get around the very simple truth that “no man is an island.” Still, there are those who would seem not to have that place. People who live alone, far removed from their family and friends, but to them I clarify that the place I describe hasn’t anything to do with physical proximity.
¶ As long as there are people who care about you, you have your place in this world no matter where you or they are.
¶ Unfortunately, there are yet others who truly do not have a place in the world. People who have lost their loved ones through tragedy, people who have so horribly alienated those around them that they really aren’t looked for or missed by anybody anymore. There are people who have lost themselves. For these people, life must truly be burdensome. I cannot imagine the loneliness and anxiety of being alone in this great, wide world. Neither can most of the people who will read this.
¶ Those of us who do not view ourselves as fortunate must remember this miserable lot of people and maintain the proper perspective of our own lives this year. The world is going to hell all around us, but we’re still here. We’ve still got our selves and our souls. We’ve still got our families and our friends, no matter how far removed from them we may be physically. That’s where I am this year - keeping things in perspective.
¶ Another important part of keeping things in perspective is to consider the past as carefully as the present (if not moreso). Who were you this year? Who did you see? What did you do, and why? What trespasses did you endure, and in hindsight were they really trespasses?
¶ I’ve given one piece of advice this year more often than any other. When someone would be upset with somebody else, over any number of things, I would tell them, “Ask yourself: Would I still care about this in a week? A month? Three?” Chances are, the answer to the first question will be no. But of course, sometimes something will stick so hard in our craw that we actually would still be upset about it a week later. …But would we care about it a month from now? Well, I don’t know about you but it’s pretty difficult to piss me off so bad that I’ll still remember it after a month! Most likely, whatever Bob said to annoy you isn’t going to matter to you thirty days from now, either. You can keep adding to the temporal part of the question as needed, but you’re probably going to find that the answer turns from ‘yes’ to ‘no’ fairly quickly.
¶ The point is, if it was something really important, you’d still care about it years from now. If it’s so small that you wouldn’t really care after a week, or even a month, then there’s really no point in wasting the energy to be upset about it today either.
¶ Who have you trespassed against? Was your reason for doing so really as justified as it seemed? I mean, is your conscience clear? If it’s not, then has so much time passed that an apology would do nothing more than to stir up a settled pot or can you make amends right now? Realize, of course, that an apology isn’t always the be-all-end-all solution to screwing up. But if it’s not too late, it can at least make some small difference. If too much time has passed and you feel that apologizing for your misstep would do more harm than good by now, then you can remember your offense and not repeat it in the new year. If life were really the game that people like to say it is, one of the game’s objectives would be to have as little to regret as possible between one year and the next. I have only one regret for 2007, which is much better than I did in 2000.
¶ Anyway, I guess you’ve read enough by now. You’re probably tired of my retrospective. Indeed, you’ve probably got a retrospective of your own to attend to. So I’ll draw this to a close, now. First, though, I would like to share two things with you, if you don’t mind. The first is about a friend of ours, Teskio:
¶ One of DFIAS’ founding members, Teskio, just had a brand new baby right before Christmas. He and his wife already have a five year-old girl, and all three of them are thrilled with the new addition to their family. What a happy holiday season for them! All of us wish them good fortune in the new year.
The second is this: “Auld Lang Syne”, by Robert Burns
Auld Lang Syne
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne ?
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
And surely you’ll buy your pint cup !
And surely I’ll buy mine !
And we’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.We two have run about the slopes,
And picked the daisies fine ;
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,
Since auld lang syne.
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.We two have paddled in the stream,
From morning sun till dine† ;
But seas between us broad have roared
Since auld lang syne.
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.And there’s a hand my trusty friend !
And give us a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
For auld lang syne.
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
